Originally published online June 18, 2017 & in the print collection Seed Guzzler: And Other Succubi — available here
Seed Guzzler Part Fournicate: The Christian Casanova by Melodie Yvonne
Sly as a fox and shady as fuck
Climbin’ the ladder with way more than luck
He is a dick ‘cause you are what you eat
He’s the evilest evil you ever did meet
He’s a chameleon and likes all your loves
He snorts coke off hookers then speaks anti-drug
He is a snake with a venomous slither
His pearly white plastic smile makes my soul shiver
He flashes those pearlies and claims to be Christian
Confesses his sins and assumes he’s forgiven
Then he runs right out to go sin some more
‘Cause he thinks he’s Madonna but he’s just the Whore
He buttons his shirt up and heads into work
Where everyone knows he’s a poisonous jerk
‘Cause some of the bullshit he hides with his charms
But the rest sticks right out like a cold sore alarm
Treatment of others was made just for him
Still his big white teeth shine like a windowless van
He personifies date rape and thinks no means yes
Then he points at his wife when his home life’s a mess
He flashes those pearlies and claims to be Christian
Confesses his sins and assumes he’s forgiven
Then he runs right out to go sin some more
‘Cause he thinks he’s Madonna but he’s just the Whore
Now mind you don’t fret, child, karma will get him
Something this evil’s what heaven won’t let in
‘Til then mind your daughters and keep them with care
Cover them up and pin back their hair
Make them look plain, it’s their only defense
‘Cause the evils of this world will never makes sense
Cuddle them close and just try to protect them
Then pray they won’t be this charmed Juggalos next victim
He flashes those pearlies and claims to be Christian
Confesses his sins and assumes he’s forgiven
Then he runs right out to go sin some more
‘Cause he thinks he’s Madonna but he’s just the Whore
Yes he thinks he’s Madonna but he’s just the Whore
He’s a pride filled vain junkie material girl
He’s The Brain without Pinky tryin’ to conquer the world
Yes he thinks he’s Madonna but he’s just the Whore
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