Poetry by Melodie Yvonne

Originally published online March 22, 2020 & in the collection Photographic Memories: 7even — available here

The Dissembler by Melodie Yvonne

What I say is usually “I’m fine”
What I mean is that I’m hurtin’
I wanna speak the truth
But I don’t wanna be your burden

I say that “It’s ok”
But what I mean is that it’s not
‘Cause my heart is always broken
But it’s all the heart I got

What I say is that I’ll walk away
But really I’m still sittin’
I didn’t wanna care but
I just can’t help that I’m smitten

I wanted you to go away
But now I want you here
I just wanted you to go fuck off
But now I want you near

What I say is usually “I’m fine”
What I mean is that I’m broken
I want it to be over
But I just can’t keep from hopin’

I wanted you to give a shit
But you’re so full of pride
What you said was that you cared
But what you meant was that you lied

What I said is that we’d be friends
What I meant was that I’m broken
You said to just go with the flow
But then you left me floatin’

What I said was that “It’s all good”
What I meant is it’s just not
‘Cause my heart is all in pieces
And it’s all the heart I got

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