Poetry by Melodie Yvonne

Originally published online Jan 21, 2020 & in the collection Photographic Memories: 7even — available here

Waitin’ by Melodie Yvonne

I sit and wonder what’s the point
And then I smoke another joint
It’s not enough to just exist here
Wanna live but swallowed by fear
Wanna fight but I’m so tired
Don’t wanna go another mile
So then I just get stuck and sit here
Waitin’ ’til the future gets clear

I’m just waitin’ in my room
Been layin’ here since way passed noon
With all these thoughts just comin’ at me
Wish I could just let ’em have me

Wish I could just let me go
And give up everything I know
Wish I could just hit a button
And see what the fuck’s a-coming
Wish I could just make you see me
And then maybe you could free me
But I can’t so I just sit here
Waitin’ til my future gets clear

But it just keeps gettin’ fuzzy
How can you care? I don’t love me
All I am’s a lump that sits here
Barely in and barely out there
All I am’s a waste of time
Even if I give you mine
So now I’m stuck and I just sit here
Wishin’ I could draw your heart near

I’m just waitin’ in my room
Been layin’ here since way passed noon
With all these thoughts just comin’ at me
Wish I could just let ’em have me

I’m just waitin’ for the ending
‘Cause I’m just so done pretending
I just want it to be over
And I dont want to be sober
So I just curl up and lay here
Waitin’ for the coast to be clear
Waitin’ for that happy ending
If I could just go back to dreaming

I’m just waitin’ in my room
Been layin’ here since way passed noon
With all these thoughts just comin’ at me
Wish I could just let ’em have me

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