Originally published online Dec 28, 2017 & in the print collection Seed Guzzler: And Other Succubi — available here
Seed Guzzler Part Five Inch Nails: The Manicured Methiah by Melodie Yvonne
There once was a girl with a big strand of pearls
Shoved real far right on up in her ass
She thought she was better than everyone else
But money just don’t buy you class
She’ll act like she’s nice, she’ll give you advice
Then she’ll turn ‘round and tip you a 20
‘Cause she’s talking down with her big toothless frown
She just made you a bitch with her money
Shove those green dollar bills straight up your ass
I don’t worship money, I’ll not kiss your ass
You’re not gonna win with somebody like me
‘Cause you can’t buy respect and it sure don’t come free
Little Miss Rich Bitch just acts like a snitch bitch
When she doesn’t get her own way
She gets in a panic like she’s a Satanic
And won’t hear the things that you say
She’s just like a toddler throwin’ fits in the Walmart
A spoiled brat that’s kickin’ your seat
She’ll sulk and feel sorry ‘til it’s her pity party
But you can’t buy respect like new teeth
Shove those green dollar bills straight up your ass
I don’t worship money, I’ll not kiss your ass
You’re not gonna win with somebody like me
‘Cause you can’t buy respect and it sure don’t come free
“Do you know who I am?” is the call of her clan
And she’ll shout it ‘til everyone hears her
She’ll shove to the front with insatiable wants
Tryin’ her best to make everyone fear her
She eats in excess ‘til she vomits a mess
‘Cause she’d die without all the attention
Now she’s growin’ old without being told
That spoiled bitch ain’t a mental affliction
Shove those green dollar bills straight up your ass
I don’t worship money, I’ll not kiss your ass
You’re not gonna win with somebody like me
‘Cause you can’t buy respect and it sure don’t come free
Now soon it’ll be late when she learns of her fate
Broke, alone, and with no one to love her
Soon all of the sudden that karmas a-comin
And she better be runnin’ for cover
Shove those green dollar bills straight up your ass
I don’t worship money, I’ll not kiss your ass
You’re not gonna win with somebody like me
‘Cause you can’t buy respect and it sure don’t come free
Oh you can’t buy respect and it sure don’t come free
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